I was really hopeful about the Democratic National Convention this week. After the hate-spewing and fear-mongering of the RNC I thought that liberal, progressive, and even more conservative Americans would come together to ensure that Donald Trump is never elected president

It's only the first day, but very clearly that is not what's happening.

I understand the anger. Even as a long-time Hillary fan, I myself am disgusted and disheartened by some of the backdoor deals and political maneuvering that has taken place over the course of this election (although let's be real, it's taken place in every election since this country was founded). I see it and I acknowledge it and I want it to change. 

But what I want more than anything is for Donald Trump to never be elected president.

And today I felt a sinking in my stomach as I watched good, intelligent, passionate adults hurl nasty insults at other good, intelligent, passionate adults.

He will win. And this realization was enough to make me lay down and cry.

Every single day now there are reports of mass killings. Guns, hatchets, trucks. People are walking out into the world and using whatever they can to take the lives of those around them.

There is so much wrong with politics in America. I went to college in Washington, D.C. because I wanted to major in political science, intern on the Hill, and make a career out of improving people's lives through better public policy and governance. But a few months after I arrived in the other Washington, America elected George W. Bush for a second time and I just couldn't muster the youthful enthusiasm to stay the course.

I gave up. We can't give up now. He will win.

I understand where the anger came from. It's necessary. Channel that anger into positive change. Vote, run for office, make daily choices that align with your values. 

But where did the hatred come from? The hate is what bewilders me. Protest, wave signs, show up, make yourself heard. 

But where did hate ever get us?

He will win. And then we will have no one left to hate but ourselves.